One amazing day

Saturday October 8th. 10.30 to 5.30. Free Word Centre. Farringdon Road. London EC1R 3GA. This event was only available to members of 26. The last few places are now open to anyone. To apply for a place please email Rachel at: rachel.marshall@26.org.uk

Spend an exhilarating day with members of 26 developing your writing skills, listening to great writers talking about writing, and enjoy language games designed to expand your horizons. You will leave refreshed and reinvigorated with new communication skills, and an address book crammed with people involved in creative media.

26 is providing the space, speakers, facilitators, workshops, entertainments and events for free but charging £ 26 to cover the costs of a delicious Italian buffet lunch with wine, afternoon tea and refreshments.

The deadline for booking is Friday 16th September. Just a few places left.

WORDSTOCK – FULL PROGRAMME

Gillian Slovo is the President of English PEN, a best selling novelist and crime writer and her plays have been performed all over the world. Her courtroom drama Red Dust explores the meanings and effects of the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission and was made into a movie starring Hilary Swank and Chiwetel Ejiofor.

Nicola Morgan, an award-winning author of many books, will help you get published by condensing your synopses into eye-catching pitches that attract publishers and agents. You will also pick up useful tips on writing hooks, straplines and blurbs to help your work with brands and marketing.

The Royal Society for the Pursuit of Lovebirds… Fresh from sell out gigs in Glastonbury and Latitude this flock of amazing performance artists will help you become more attractive to potential partners (business and pleasure) through love letters and a bird calling workshop on the language of seduction.

WORDSTOCK festival site. A wonderful game to get to know everyone and create the festival site in the spaces of the FREE WORD CENTRE involving tents, paints and words. We’ll be conjuring up the festival atmosphere with VVVIP wrist bands, AAA passes and mini pavilions.

Martin Lee from Acacia Avenue is a specialist in retail strategy and will explain the secrets of linguistic analysis, and how to use metaphor and imagery to build deeper relationships with brands.

Fiona Thompson writer and harpist will lead a creative writing workshop that explores the crossover between words and music. She’ll play music that conjures up flow, contrast and rhythm to accompany a series of short writing exercises.

Andy Hayes from Quietroom communications agency is going to amaze you with his obsession of discovering writing inspiration in litter and will organise a word game in the streets of Clerkenwell. You can also sign up for the next big 26 project ‘Throw Away Lines’ creating short stories from scraps of paper: abandoned, found and rescued.

Sarah McCartney has designed a workshop sharing her techniques for topping up the inspiration tanks when you’re stuck in the office, a deadline is stomping towards you, a JCB is digging up the road outside, and someone has asked you to write about dog food. Again…

Maddie York will be running a Tweeting workshop with tips and advice on how to get started, how it works, with help on restricting yourself to 140 characters and making the most of a wonderfully useful tool for new business and marketing.

Alastair Creamer and his pranksters have created series of activities inviting you to improve the lyrics to some of the greatest songs and bring memories triggered by your ultimate playlist. You can explore the art of festival chugging and slogans, enjoy stories around an indoor campfire, and contribute to Reasons To Be Cheerful Part 26.

Rob Self-Pierson will talk about the experience of setting up and running the 26 Flavours project in the West Country. He will guide you through the exhibition and give advice on how to set up your own 26 project.

Places will be given on a first-come-first-served basis and we’d love you to join us. Email Rachel to book your place: rachel.marshall@26.org.

26

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Fighting for life

Just back from Copenhagen with this interview of Leena Alam by the Danish journalist Lise Thorsen. Leena is an Afghan phenomenon; actor, director and human rights campaigner in a country where the Taliban terrorise anyone involved in dance, music, theatre and film. Lise was visiting Afghanistan on behalf of the Danish Centre for Culture and Development, which is financing an aid programme with the Danish Embassy in Kabul supporting Afghan freedom of speech. Leena could enjoy an easy life anywhere she chooses. But instead, she risks death threats by refusing to wear the veil, and encouraging Afghan women to rebel against misogynistic oppression. Leena runs acting workshops with Afghan girls for the Danish Forum Theater – DACAPO. She directs documentaries and performs with experimental drama groups that tour around the country.

Lise’s assignment took her back to Afghanistan for first time since the 1970s – before the Russians invaded. In those days to most westerners Afghanistan was a destination on the hippy trail. Afghan coats were bohemian chic in the Kings Road Chelsea, and Afghan Gold was the caviar of cannabis resin. Despite Britain’s commitment to establish democracy in Afghanistan through Operation Enduring Freedom (10th anniversary this year, over 400 service personnel killed, £18 billion spent), most of us know precious little about one of the most fought over countries in the world. Human communities were being formed here 50,000 years ago and sophisticated urban cultures were well established by 3000 BC. This unforgiving territory has been subjugated by the Grec-Bactrians, Kushans, Indo-Sassanids, Kabul Shahi, Saffaruds, Samanids, Ghaznavidfs, Ghurids, Kartis, Timurids, Muhagls, Hotakis and Durranis who used it as a strategic springboard. In the Victorian era, Afghanistan became a buffer zone for the British Empire to prevent Russia invading India (the jewel in the crown), and by the late 1800s much of it was carved up and ceded to the United Kingdom. Land locked by socially entrenched neighbours (Pakistan, Iran, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan, China) and impeded by reactionary warlords who supply 92% of the world’s opiates, Afghanistan has been trapped in a schism of chaos ever since. The 10-year occupation of the Soviet Union left 600,000 dead and 6 million refugees fled abroad. To counteract Soviet incursions, the USA spent $40 billion recruiting, financing and arming Mujahideen fighters to form Islamic resistance groups and thus begat Al-Qaeda.

When the heart and soul of a country is so brutalised over so many generations is it any wonder that dysfunction and violence become endemic. How do its displaced and disorientated citizens sustain any sense of national identity? History is littered with the wreckage of predatory interventions where alien ideologies were forced on reluctant populations. However, intervention is not just about rolling tanks and ethnic cleansing. We are all complicit interveners in many foreign lands. By exploiting cheap labour, consuming finite resources, funding charities and NGOs, investing in commodities, cherry-picking essential workers and exporting divisive culture we exert sinuous influence. I write this shortly after the savage four-hour assault on the British Council in Kabul whose remit is to help Afghans learn English, acquire governance skills and build relationships with the outside world. 12 Afghan police officers, security guards, street cleaners and a special forces soldier from New Zealand were killed. On the face of it, the Taliban were fighting against British cultural imperialism but the motivation is far more convoluted according to the Guardian journalist Nushin Arbabzadah. In her article ‘Twisting tales behind Afghanistan’s British Council attack’ she reports that atrocities are frequently justified by byzantine claims and counter-claims that defy comprehension in this bewildering theatre of war. No one has any idea what is cause and what is effect. In a culture where corruption, nepotism, tribal loyalty and religious fanaticism influences every twitch of the body politic, where 15 year old suicide bombers are duped into sacrificing themselves for acts carried out by 12th century Crusaders, and where every birth, death, thought and deed is predestined by Allah, common sense doesn’t stand a chance. But such is the glory of human nature, that even when mired in pathological depravity brave people do small things to keep hope alive. Here’s Lise’s article.

 

Afghanistan’s gentle fury

By Lise Thorsen

Movie star, director and model. Former Miss San Francisco. Leena Alam, 32 years old could have a carefree existence in the USA. Instead she has returned to her native Afghanistan to help her fellow sisters live a better life. She dominates the room the moment she enters and occupies the scene with sweetness and charisma. She is beautiful and she knows it. But she is also down to earth, dressed in a plain traditional Afghan dress without a scarf. Leena is a superstar in Afghanistan. She rebels on behalf of women and never wears a burka. This is an exceptional sight in Afghanistan, where women are obliged cover their heads and faces away from home. “I receive threats and yes, sometimes I am afraid. On one occasion I even had a phone call from a Member of Parliament complaining that I – being a role model – didn’t wear a scarf. But of course that’s precisely why I don’t do it. I have the opportunity of being a role model for young girls, and I want to show them that we need to make our own decisions. The girls here are commodities. They may be given away in marriage as early as nine years old. At first they are the property of their family, and then they become the property of their in-laws.” A recent inquiry by CARE, concluded that Afghanistan is the most problematic country to be a woman. According to a law passed two years ago, a man has the right to rape his wife, and a woman must obtain permission from her husband or father to work or receive education. Nine out of ten women have been exposed to violence in their own home. And it is still common practice that if a man kills another man, the family of the deceased can demand to have the sister of the killer handed over as revenge. Beating, abuse and death are the grim reality for most Afghan women and many are driven to suicide. “How do we move on? It is so hard to cut through. It’s so frustratingly difficult to get someone to listen. Only a small percentage of Afghan women know that birth control exists. So the majority have a lot of children and many mouths to feed in a poor country. That’s if they don’t die in childbirth.” Leena had a somewhat different youth to all this. Her family fled to the USA in 1989 and she grew up as an American teenager. After high school she began a career as a model and was elected Miss San Francisco. Then she developed her acting and directing, but in 2007 she returned to Afghanistan and decided to stay. “Older people are tired after many years of war. They just want food to eat and clothes to wear. They are exhausted. But the young are eager. They want to watch movies, the more colourful and grander the better, and they aspire to the Hollywood-films on Afghanistan’s countless TV channels.” Leena says that the girls in the theatre groups were not used to performing, to exposing themselves and stating opinions, so they had to be nursed. “We showed a great deal of consideration for the girls who participated. But it became a real success for them. They built self-confidence and learned how to express their feelings. I had a lot of hugs along the way. It will take generations before we get equal rights. If it ever happens. I am telling everyone that we must act NOW! Now that we have the whole world’s attention and goodwill. But not many people listen. And even less dare to do something about it.” Leena also experiences the pressures of tradition. She hasn’t married because she hasn’t met the right man. But even her own family – who are otherwise very liberal – have started asking when. “Maybe one day I will marry. But I will never give up my professional life. Never. And I keep telling the girls here, that there is no hurry to find a husband.” We say goodbye and agree to meet again on Facebook. With her long hair flowing in Kabul’s hot and dusty wind, she disappears behind the high wall and barbed-wire protecting her house.

 

Posted in Art, Campaigning, Free speech, History, Politics, Writing | 1 Comment

A brief sunshine

This week I’m contributing five short visual stories to Grafik magazine’s Daily Type series. You can read them here. I thought I’d include a couple more stories right here, for good measure.

So, the installation you can see in the image above is by Joseph Kosuth, and you’ll find it in Southwark. The words are from the closing chapter of Charles Dickens’ The Pickwick Papers. It lights up at night, but I rather like the darkness of the daytime version. The letters have been there for some years now and are nicely weathered. A ‘the’ has gone off for a walk too, perhaps down to the marshes of Kent. The full piece reads:

There are dark shadows on the earth but its lights are stronger in the contrast. Some men, like bats or owls, have better eyes for the darkness than for the light. We who have no such optical powers are better pleased to take our last parting look at the visionary companions of many solitary hours, when the brief sunshine of the world is blazing full upon them. CD.

Here are some more words from Dickens to be found living on the streets of London. In this case it’s an excerpt from a piece he wrote for a magazine he co-owned, Household Words. You’ll find these in Spitalfields Market, adorning what used to be an electric power substation. During the day the text is intriguingly subdued – white on white. At night the writing box lights up, and its warm, glowing colours lure in passers-by as they move through the otherwise empty market space. Seb & Fiona created this piece of public art with design agency Imagist and architects Jestico + Whiles. It’s certainly a great way to turn a functional bit of a building into a delight, and I like that the words they have chosen are relevant to the context and full of the personality of the writers. Here’s a view of the construction from another side, this time with some writing by Spitalfields author Jeanette Winterson. I’ll try to photograph the remaining sides, which carry words by Samuel Pepys and Peter Ackroyd.

Tim


Posted in Art, Design, History, London, Photography, Storytelling, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On argument, instruction and authenticity

This Seeds of Change bar is the most delicious chocolate I’ve tasted, and I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate. The dark chocolate, fig and orange are beautifully balanced, like something you might get from a master chocolatier. But before I start sounding a bit Gregg Wallace, I should bring this piece back to words. Once I’d eaten the chocolate I decided to find out more, so I started to read and look at the packaging. I really liked the silhouette visuals, especially little touches such as the leaping toad you find on the back. ‘Grown for pleasure’ is an OK slogan, assuming that they’re not intending some sort of strained pun on ‘grown/groan’. And the ‘Fragrant figs…’ description gets your mental taste buds tingling and tells you what you need to know when shopping. But, for me, a few issues emerge in the detail on the outer back of the pack, in this section:

Frankly, I don’t give a fig for the ‘sustainable organic’ message, but that’s not my issue here. What irks is a manufacturer telling me how to use their product. We all know how to enjoy a piece of expensive chocolate, for goodness sake. We don’t need a copywriter to script our consumption. OK, they almost win me back with the ‘Sexist? Fruitist?’ line, especially as their answer is ‘Unashamedly yes’. But the instructive tone is yet another example of the peculiar tendency for brands to talk to people as if they are eager children. Here’s the point, food companies: if we have the intellectual ability to buy your product we probably know how to eat it.

Inside the wrapper you get the ‘about us’ story, which is a righteous tale of organic seed growing. I like that they present an argument – ‘swept away by ‘progress’ in industrial agriculture’ – even though I’d challenge their sweeping dismissal of large-scale agricultural methods. It’s refreshing to see a business have and express a point of view. It’s a shame that it’s usually only self-consciously environmentalist brands that have the gumption to say something contentious or opinionated about methods of production. Why don’t bigger brands argue that largescale farming can bring bigger benefits? Perhaps they do, but I’ve not seen it.

Another observation on the ‘about us’ story: it flows, it offers a touch of personality (‘well, someone’s got to do it’) and it conveys the quality of the product by taking you to some interesting corners of the world. But, to me, it feels too well written; or put another way – too, well, written. This is how a good professional business writer might tell the story, with all its subtle differentiators and smooth rhythm. It has the ‘just right’ qualities of a decent long copy ad. I just wonder whether it might seem more authentic if it was a tad rougher – like something one of the founders might say. Then again, I see the original company that started up in Santa Fe is now owned by Mars UK, so it’s not entirely clear to me whose authenticity is being expressed.

Tim

 

Posted in Brand, Business, Copy analysis, Design, Storytelling, Tone of voice, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Passing thoughts

The Brand /

Destinations, like any other products, thrive on brand loyalty. The creation and roll-out of a distinct and identifiable brand for Bloomsbury, Holborn and St Giles is vital to its success as an area to work in, shop in and explore.

inmidtown will play a key role in the development of an identity for the area which can be used to drive brand loyalty. At the same time, we will work to increase the brand awareness for the district, promoting its prime location and unique selling points.

By communicating the positive aspects, inmidtown will help to change existing negative perceptions. Leveraging the brand will help to stimulate business activity, encouraging business to locate here and visitors to explore and experience the full extent of what the district has to offer.

• Why have they made one of the most historically rich parts of London sound like an area in Manhattan?

• Naming the area Mid Town would be bad enough, but adding in and compressing it into one word transforms it into a horrible specimen of marketing-speak.

• Try saying to your friends “Let’s meet for a drink inmidtown”.

• In my view, inmidtown looks horrible in prose (especially when it starts a paragraph) and is hard to read when shown on posters.

• Bloomsbury, Holborn and St Giles are not products.

• An area does not require a distinct and identifiable brand for it to be successful as an area in which to work, shop and explore. It may help sometimes, but it is not always vital.

• Do they really expect people to feel ‘brand loyalty’ to an area? Really? Don’t people choose to go somewhere for specific reasons, rather than ‘loyalty’?

• ‘Leveraging the brand will help to stimulate business activity’: is this really how people communicate with one another these days? What do they mean by ‘leverage’, how will their leveraging ‘stimulate’ business activity, and what type of business activity will be stimulated?

• Why orange and black – do they have a particular association with Bloomsbury, Holborn and St Giles? Is there a historical link with Holland?

• They appear to have accidentally left a slash in the headline, after the words The Brand. Or is that something people do inmidtown?

Tim

Posted in Brand, Business, Copy analysis, Design, Jargon, London, Tone of voice, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Postcards from Paradise

Who needs the hassle of traffic jams, rammed airports, heaving ferries and bloated beaches when you can hang out at the Southbank. This glorious rolling festival has been the hit of the summer with thrilling exhibitions, ambush fountains, curious pavilions, an allotment in the sky, and an intriguing language installation that has set everyone talking about ways of communicating.

Posted in 26, Advertising, Art, Brand, Business, Campaigning, Design, Graffiti, History, Jargon, London, Photography, Poetry, Politics, Reading, Storytelling, Tone of voice, Travel, Writing | Leave a comment

Calisthenics for the brain

We probably all know some great quotations about clear thinking and good writing. Here’s a celebrated one from David McCullough, for example: “Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That’s why it’s so hard.” Anyone who writes at work knows the writing process can be tortuous unless you clarify what you want to say before you get too immersed in growing words into sentences, and sentences into paragraphs. Achieving that clarity isn’t always straightforward, especially if you’re working in collaboration and dealing with complex issues.

While the advantages of getting your thoughts straight are clear, it’s also worth remembering that the benefits flow the other way. The act of writing can help us to explore new ideas, clarify what we know and don’t know, and test the mettle of our views. And so it can help us to develop richer, more useful, more valuable, more considered interpretations of the world. Making our ideas manifest on the page is like bringing an object out into the light. Once something is written down it becomes separated from our mind, and that provides critical space between what we thought then (when we wrote it) and what we think now (as we read it). Putting words on the page doesn’t necessarily mean publishing it to the world; sometimes it’s simply about publishing it to yourself. The natural extension of this is to read your words out loud – always a great test of whether you’re making sense.

Here are three excerpts that draw out the value of writing as part of the thinking process. The first takes us back to David McCullough, and a remark he made in a recent Time magazine interview:

We don’t write letters on paper anymore. How will this affect the study of history?

The loss of people writing – writing a composition, a letter or a report – is not just the loss for the record. It’s the loss of the process of working your thoughts out on paper, of having an idea that you would never have had if you weren’t [writing]. And that’s a handicap. People [I research] were writing letters every day. That was calisthenics for the brain.

The second passage is from the first chapter of EH Carr’s wonderful book What is History:

Laymen – that is to say, non-academic friends or friends from other academic disciplines – sometimes ask me how the historian goes to work when he writes history. The commonest assumption appears to be that the historian divides his work into two sharply distinguishable phases or periods. First, he spends a long preliminary period reading his sources and filling his notebooks with facts: then, when this is over, he puts away his sources, takes out his notebooks and writes his books from beginning to end. This is to me an unconvincing and unplausible picture. For myself, as soon as I have got going on a few of what I take to be the capital sources, the itch becomes too strong and I begin to write – not necessarily the beginning, but somewhere, anywhere. Thereafter, reading and writing go on simultaneously. The writing is added to, subtracted from, reshaped, cancelled, as I go on reading. The reading is guided and directed and made fruitful by the writing: the more I write, the more I know what I am looking for, the better I understand the significance and relevance of what I find. Some historians probably do all this preliminary writing in their heads without using pen, paper or typewriter, just as some people play chess in their heads without recourse to board and chessmen: this is a talent which I envy, but cannot emulate. But I am convinced that, for any historian worth the name, the two processes of what economists call ‘input’ and ‘output’ go on simultaneously and are, in practice, parts of a single process.

The third passage is from writer Jamie Jauncey’s excellent blog:

I’ve just received the first copies of Room 121, my new book, co-written with John Simmons. Those three months over last winter when we were writing it, exchanging on an almost daily basis the blog posts that form each chapter, were a period of deep thinking because the time was ring-fenced; it had to be or we wouldn’t have met our deadline… But as soon as we finished it, hyper-connected life crashed back into the almost sacred space we had created for ourselves and the deep thinking time was lost. Now I’m left with the frustration that while my life seems particularly rich in experience, my resulting view of the world feels only half-formed because I don’t have enough time to reflect on it.

Tim

Posted in Books, History, Letters, Reading, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Colourful language

I saw this lovely shop in Delft. It’s called De Goedkoope, Verf Winkel, W. Verbeek, which translates – rather unromantically – as The Cheap Paint Shop, owner W. Verbeek. Founded in 1881, the shop remains a family business that makes and sells paints, pigments and other art and decorating supplies. Inside, you encounter the perfumed paraphernalia of visual cooking – vats, powders, brushes, stirrers, tins, syrups, essences – along with some lovely lettering and type design. There are more photographs of the shop over on my flickr site.

I was rather taken with a poem they have in the window – a characterful piece of DIY brand writing that says so much about the history of the shop and the attitude of its owners. I imagine one of the modern Verbeeks sitting down to write this, their hands still stained from a hard day’s pursuit of the perfect colour. I love the final line – can’t imagine many corporations having the confidence to make such a claim. Here are the words:

The family Verbeek is here, foremost, to serve you,

So please don’t let waiting your turn unnerve you!

What you choose will be up on your walls forever —

So rush, haste and impatience are useful…. Never.

They put their whole hearts in their work, it’s clear —

And Delft is more lovely because they are here.

Some more colourful language is to be found when you visit the shop’s website. Here’s my simplified (and probably simplistic) edit of a basic translation – I’m sure the original is far more rich, nuanced and bawdy:

If the majestic plane trees of Delft could talk, they would tell wonderful stories… About the farmers on Thursday, clapping and herding their cows and sheep to the market. About the inescapable stink that rises from the thick layer of straw and shit on the roads. About the lascivious, short-skirted girls from the treacle factory, who call out to the horny men passing by… And about the heady smell of linseed oil, turpentine and beeswax that wafts out into the square when the door of ‘the cheap paint shop’ is open.

Tim


Posted in Art, Brand, Business, Design, History, Photography, Poetry, Tone of voice, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Could be foggy

Over recent years fellow 26 member Nick Asbury has drawn together a collection of weather forecasterisms called Cloudy Language. It captures those wonderfully/irritatingly peculiar phrases so beloved of the men and women of the Met Office, such as “A cloud envelope coming up through Cornwall late in the day…” These mash-ups of technicalisms, abstractions and villagey verbiage have always sounded very contemporary to my ear – a polite form of modern-informal speak that would never have passed the lips of broadcasters before, say, 1990. Then, while reading some old newspapers and magazines, I found the excerpt below. It comes from the New York Herald Tribune and was published in 1964. As an aside, this was the paper that begat the International Herald Tribune and New York magazine. Cinephiles may also recognise it as the newspaper Jean Seberg sells on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées in Godard’s À bout de soufflé (hence the still, above). But I digress. The point is that the passage from 1964 shows cloudy language is well weathered. Perhaps we should set up a facility to produce analyzations of the history of such phenomena?

The English language in America is fog-bound. This is hellish serious, more serious than who will be the next Republican nominee for the Presidency. If we cannot communicate clearly with one another, who can tell what our votes will mean? Two lousy forces are at work: (a) stencilism and (b) carbonic plague. They have in common only their hideous fear of straight talk. We cannot now say “in colleges”: we must say “at the college level”. Nor can we say “yearly”; things are now “on an annual basis”. Who done this? Webster’s Third? Here is one crime, I think that cannot be lain at their door. But at whom’s?

April no longer brings “showers”, it brings “shower activity”. There is also “flurry activity” here, on a winter basis. Do we have “fog”? Goodness knows we do, but it is “fog conditions” which create “chain reaction pile ups” on the New Jersey Turnpike. (The Turnpike is, of course, a “facility”, just as Columbia University is a facility, at the college level.)

Analysis, is giving way to “analyzation”, by the way, to keep things straight “at this time”—and you’d better not get caught making a summary of things any more because what you’re really after is a “summarisation”. If it’s a good summarisation it could lead to a significant “breakthrough” which could accelerate the toothpaste “explosion” and thus close the dental “gap”.

If a media of communication wants to be more than a passing phenomenon at a satisfactory profit level on an annual basis, it ought to contemplate a facility for more analysation on what in hell’s name is being done to the English language by some “doee” or “doees” unknown.

New York Herald Tribune, 1964

Strangely, an even more recent hour spent nosing through old newspapers unearthed another pedantic, weather-related missive from 1964. This one is from a newspaper that is alive and well today, despite some creaking in the knee department.

“There could be,” said the radio yesterday, “a little snow here and there.” “Snow showers,” it said on Saturday, “could be prolonged.”

Thus the B.B.C. catches up with current cant, which through substituting “could” for “may” or “might” weakens the language by blurring definition. It is now quite common to hear or see “could” used twice in one sentence with a different meaning each time.

Of all people, the B.B.C. should know better. But as yesterday it also said that “cycling past Woburn Abbey, a black squirrel ran across the road,” the situation could now be hopeless.

Daily Telegraph, 1964

Tim

 

Posted in History, Jargon, Letters, Magazines, Plain English, Tone of voice, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Substitutes

If you are in Berlin this weekend perhaps you could stand in for me at a private view on Saturday evening (June 4th). The exhibition is called SUBSTITUTES and I am one of the participants but I’m just too busy in London. The request to replace me is not as frivolous as it sounds, because the brief for this mixed show was to think of an object that could substitute another object, and to deliver both objects to Berlin. The pop-up-gallery – Berlin Weekly, founded by Stefanie Seidl – is a virtual gallery that is a substitute for a walk-in-gallery. It operates from Linienstrasse160 and curates 52 shows a year.

I thought hard about what to submit and eventually settled on a fly swatter and a rolled up magazine. The swatter came from my vast collection of swatters which I have begged, bought, borrowed and stolen from all corners of the world. As for the magazine, I did not want any old rag, but fortunately the submission deadline coincided with the royal wedding so choosing the slushiest magazine with the cheesiest cover was a joy. Exhibitors were asked to write a short text to accompany their objects and this is my rationale:

Berlin Weekly

Substitutes

Fly swatter and magazine

“I am enjoying a lovely soak in my Jacuzzi reading OK Magazine ROYAL WEDDING EDITION but then a pesky little fly buzzes into the bathroom. It is determined to kill me but what can I do. OH NO! The fly swatter is downstairs in the kitchen. But then EUREKA! I roll up my SPECIAL SOUVENIR ISSUE and SWAT THE LITTLE FUCKER with Will & Kate’s lip-smacking snog. Kiss that you little SHIT!”

Tom

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